Short Christmas jokes that are actually funny
The holidays are a time for joy, togetherness, and, of course, laughter. But let’s be honest—some Christmas jokes can be as stale as last year’s fruitcake. If you’re on the hunt for Christmas jokes that are actually funny, you’ve come to the right place. From clever puns to laugh-out-loud one-liners, this list of jokes will have everyone at your holiday party cracking up.
The Funniest Christmas Jokes for All Ages
Santa Claus Jokes
- What’s Santa’s favorite type of weather?
Rain, dear! - Why doesn’t Santa ever get parking tickets?
Because he parks on the rooftop! - How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
Nothing—it’s on the house! - Why did Santa go to therapy?
He was dealing with his “clause” anxiety. - What does Santa use to keep track of naughty kids?
His “bad-app”! - What does Santa say when he’s done checking his list?
“That’s a wrap!” - Why doesn’t Santa ever skip leg day?
Because he loves the “sleigh” workout! - Why is Santa so good at karate?
Because he has a black belt… and a red one too! - How does Santa deliver presents so quickly?
He uses “sleigh-mail!” - What’s Santa’s favorite snack?
Ho-ho-hos!
Reindeer Jokes
- Why did Rudolph get promoted?
He had a nose for success! - What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?
A “comed-deer”! - Why don’t reindeer play cards?
Because they’re afraid of cheetahs! - What’s Rudolph’s least favorite holiday song?
“Frosty the Snowman”—he melts every time! - Why did the reindeer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken! - What do reindeer say before telling a joke?
“This one will sleigh you!” - Why did the reindeer start a band?
Because they had great horns! - What’s a reindeer’s favorite vegetable?
Celery (for their energy)! - How do reindeer clean their antlers?
With “antler-freeze”! - Why did the reindeer bring a ladder to the party?
To reach the high notes while caroling!
Elf Jokes
- Why don’t elves ever get tired?
They’re used to wrapping things up quickly! - What do you call an elf who sings?
*A “wrapper”! - Why did the elf go to school?
To learn the “elf-abet.” - What’s an elf’s favorite sport?
Mini-golf! - How do elves stay warm?
They drink hot choco-elf! - Why did the elf get kicked out of class?
He was acting a little “elfish!” - How do elves cheer at sports games?
They shout, “Let’s go elf-enders!” - Why did the elf bring a ruler to bed?
To see how long he could sleep! - What’s an elf’s favorite dessert?
Shortcake! - Why are elves such good listeners?
Because they have big ears!
Snowman Jokes
- Why don’t snowmen get into arguments?
They just let it slide. - What does a snowman eat for dessert?
Ice cream sandwiches! - Why was the snowman looking through carrots?
He was picking his nose! - What do snowmen do when the sun comes out?
Have a meltdown! - Why do snowmen love winter?
Because it’s snow joke! - Why didn’t the snowman go to the party?
He was snowed in! - What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The “abominable showman!” - What’s a snowman’s favorite type of pasta?
Snow-gnocchi! - Why did the snowman sit in the freezer?
To chill out! - What kind of money do snowmen use?
Cold hard cash!
Christmas Tree Jokes
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles! - What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always on the go?
A spruce in a hurry! - Why don’t Christmas trees like being decorated?
It gives them a complex! - What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite drink?
Pineapple juice! - How does a Christmas tree get ready for a party?
It gets all spruced up! - What’s a Christmas tree’s least favorite chore?
Raking leaves! - Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble?
It was being sappy! - What do Christmas trees like to wear?
Fir coats! - What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite hobby?
Branching out! - Why do Christmas trees hate math?
Because they get stumped by the problems!
Christmas Food Jokes
- Why did the gingerbread man go to school?
To become a smart cookie! - What’s a Christmas cookie’s favorite type of music?
Rock and “roll!” - Why don’t Christmas cookies ever get lost?
They crumble before they wander too far! - What do you call an angry Christmas pudding?
A “dessert storm!” - What’s a turkey’s favorite Christmas song?
“All About That Baste!”
Punny Christmas Jokes
- What do you call a dog who loves Christmas?
Santa Paws! - Why did the Christmas bell get a promotion?
Because it was outstanding in its field! - How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together! - Why did the Christmas lights break up?
They couldn’t find their spark! - What do you call a snowstorm at the North Pole?
A blizzard of oz!
One-Liner Christmas Jokes
- What do you call Santa when he’s angry? Kringle All the Way!
- Christmas is the only time of year where you can eat cookies for breakfast and call it tradition.
- I love Christmas—especially when it snows…flakes of powdered sugar on my cookies!
- Why did the elf take a ladder to work? He wanted to climb the corporate Christmas tree!
- Santa’s favorite karate move? The North Pole punch!
Kid-Friendly Christmas Jokes
- Why do Christmas trees make terrible pets?
They just pine for attention! - What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet and present-tenses! - Why don’t Christmas ornaments ever argue?
Because they just hang out! - What’s Frosty’s favorite food?
Chill-i! - Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he felt crummy!
Funny Holiday Riddles
- What has bells but can’t ring?
A sleigh! - What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite! - What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas?
A sad candy cane! - What goes “Oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backward! - Why do mummies love Christmas?
Because of all the wrapping!
Read funny Christmas Riddles!